Remember the passion that you felt going into the start of a season? How did it feel?
There is something special about the first day of practice. Excitement is in the air while optimistic views abound regarding the upcoming season. No matter the age, it can bring back memories of when you first started playing. Do you remember how much joy you had playing as a kid? Stats and accolades didn’t matter as much as simply going out and playing a game you loved.
What happens when that passion fades? The first days of practice are no longer accompanied by joy and excitement but instead generate anxiety and dread. Have you gotten to the point where you question how you ever loved playing your sport in the first place?
The Pain of Losing Passion
Facing a loss of passion in your sport can be a frustrating experience. This becomes even more true the higher you go up in levels. It’s much easier to decide you’ve fallen out of love with a sport at fourteen than when you are a freshman in college.
By that point, countless hours of hard work and sacrifice have gotten you to your level. The further you go, the more people have invested time in you, and the harder it can be to face the harsh reality of no longer having the passion to play.
But honestly, it doesn’t matter your age or how long you’ve been playing the sport. If you feel invested in it and the issues of sport, losing passion can be heartbreaking.
Loss of Identity
For many athletes and performers, their sport is their identity. That’s how it was for me, at least. I was Warren, the hockey player. You may be Jim, the football player; Laura, the soccer player; or Kim, the ballet dancer.
As athletes, we tend to make the mistake of identifying ourselves with our sport. When I work with athletes, this is one of the significant ideas we try to convey. Once we tie our self-image up with our performance, we lose the ability to look objectively at failure.
Instead of using it as a learning experience, the mistakes and setbacks become hits to our self-worth.
Knowing how much we, as athletes, do identify ourselves with the sports we play, it becomes evident why losing passion is so painful. You are falling out of love with a piece of who you are.
The more intensely you identify yourself with your sport, the more painful it will feel when you lose the drive. It can feel as if you’ve completely lost your identity. Even if you choose to keep playing, you know you are no longer the same passionate player.
Feeling Like a Fraud
If you have in the past or are currently dealing with a loss of passion for your sport, then you know how painful it can be when you hear one of these phrases:
“Don’t you just love to play?”
“You’ve gotta want it.”
“Play with passion.”
“The field/court is my sanctuary. I feel so at peace here.”
These statements are so irritating because of the feelings they fuel within you. All of these are geared towards loving the game and competing. But here’s the problem: right now, you don’t love to play, you’re not sure if you want it, the passion has left the building, and being on the field/court causes you anxiety, not peace.
Enter feeling like a fraud.
Five Tips to Regain Your Passion
Many other types of thinking and emotions stem from losing passion in your sport. But the loss of identity, shame, and fraud highlights the significant impact that losing the love for your sport can have.
So, what can you do?
Well, the decision will have to be up to you. You must either be honest with yourself that you’ve lost your passion for sound and step away from the game or work to build back your love.
Either way, there is no reason for anyone to allow the pain described above to stick around for long. If you choose to work on regaining your passion, these five tips can significantly help you on your journey.
Check for Other Factors
If you’ve fallen out of love for your sport, is it due to a genuine loss of interest, or are other factors driving your feelings?
This is an important question to think about. If you honestly do not enjoy training, practicing, and playing, then great, you can accept this truth and move on. However, I would argue that the majority of people are experiencing a loss of passion due to an underlying factor.
Something occurred that has sucked the joy out of your sport. This can happen in multiple ways, and it’s essential to identify the cause. Once you determine what factor is to blame, you will have a clear plan as to what needs to be overcome to regain the passion to play.
Coaches
It’s not the coach’s job to make sure you find enjoyment during each practice or game. Their job is to put the team in the best position to win. But that doesn’t mean their attitude and coaching style doesn’t impact you.
I believe that finding a coach you align with and enjoy playing for is a crucial piece to your success as an athlete. By playing under a coach who is constantly negative, or you don’t agree with, it’s easy to begin losing your love for the game.
Fear of Failure
A lot of joy can be stripped from the game when all you are concerned about is not failing. When dealing with the fear of failure, your attention will be latched onto failure. You have such a deep fear of failing that you focus on how to not let that happen.
Sadly, the more you focus on not failing, the greater chance you have of failing. No longer will you be playing out of love and enjoyment for your sport. It will be hard to play freely since you are constantly on the defensive, seeking ways to avoid failing.
Anxiety
Performance anxiety and fear of failure go hand in hand. If you are continually concerned about not failing, naturally, anxiety will develop as a way to signify possibly threatening situations. You may begin feeling anxious leading up to a game, during a game, or even at practice.
Anxiety is a feeling that can make even the most enjoyable activities turn into a complete terror. So, if your sport is seen as a cause of anxiety, your likely response will be to lose the passion you once held.
Perfectionism
As a perfectionist, you never give yourself a break. When we become obsessed with a false ideal of perfection, it can be difficult to see ourselves as successful. No matter how well you play, you can guarantee you’ll find some little mistake that makes the day a failure.
Focusing intently on your shortcomings drives negative self-talk and leads to a negative self-image. If your idea of perfection is geared towards your performances, and you always feel short of perfection, at some point, you will grow exhausted. Now, you may begin to dread your sport instead of being passionate about playing.
Change Positions
After playing a sport for a while, your position may grow mundane. Training can lose its excitement, and you no longer have the same level of passion to compete. So, what can you do if your position is to blame for your low interest?
Though it’s not always the easiest option, you can look to change positions. This would generate a unique challenge that may bring much-needed excitement into your sport. You will need to learn new responsibilities and possibly new mechanics as well.
Remember Why You Started
Why did you begin to play your sport in the first place? Was it because all your friends were, your parents forced you to, or was there a feeling within that you belonged on that field?
For many of us, the reason for playing and why we kept playing was joy. As a kid, playing sports is centered around having fun. Whether you enjoy competing, being with friends, or simply playing the sport, that is why you are out there.
As you grow older and more pressure is put on performing well, it can seem like the reason you play is to fill a stat line. That needs to be an after-effect of a more meaningful reason to play. Once you become so tied up in your stats or the outcome of a performance, it’s easy to lose the passion that led to you playing in the first place.
Taking some time to reminisce about what drove you to your sport is a great way to bring back the love with which you used to play.
Shift Your Focus
This follows the same concept as the previous tip: you need to examine where you are placing focus. Are you giving all your attention to stats, accolades, and the outcome? Do you only enjoy playing if you perform well?
If you judge the level of satisfaction you receive while participating in your stats, you’ll be left unfulfilled. Yes, a great game will occasionally occur, and you’ll be floating on cloud nine. But you can guarantee a downturn will happen soon after.
Failure is a natural part of sports and life. You have to find something else to focus on to keep you going rather than the outcome of each day. If you are struggling with a lack of passion, perhaps you are spending too much time worrying about how well you perform.
Of course, we all want to do our best, but performing up to your potential rarely happens when that’s what you’re focused on. This occurs due to training, setting practical goals, and playing with high enjoyment.
Try to start focusing on simply playing. Be in the moment, soaking up every second of your time playing your sport. When it’s all over, what do you think you will miss the most, achieving a specific number on a stat sheet or the act of performing?
Step Away
“You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”
There is much truth in this statement. When in the middle of your athletic career, it’s very easy to take it for granted. This is true for all aspects of life. If we’re not fully immersed in the moment, it’s easy not to appreciate it as much as we should.
You can use this concept to your benefit when seeking to regain your passion. You can get a clear picture of your true feelings by stepping away from your sport. Do you feel like you’re missing a part of yourself? Do you feel a pull to go back and compete?
You may not have as much passion for your sport right now, but at least you’re still playing. By stepping away, you run the risk of finding another passion. But, if you genuinely love the game, this action will reignite that desire and can be phenomenal for you and your athletic career.
Final Comment
Losing love for a game you once had so much passion for can be a painful experience. You may feel shameful, like a fraud, and as if you’ve lost a part of yourself. That doesn’t mean it’s the end, though.
If you want to play with passion and purpose again, there are steps you can take to do so. With the five tips discussed in this article, you can work to fall back in love with your sport.
Are you struggling with finding the passion to play? Do you feel like you’ve lost the love you once had?
If so, send me an email to discuss further, coachnye@mindoversport.com
Until next time,
Coach Nye
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