The words you speak hold power. Power to create new possibilities or to close them down. Power to build relationships or to damage them. Power to lift people up or to pull them down.
Too often we don’t realize just how impactful our words are—both on ourselves and others. If we did, we’d do far less complaining and far more encouraging. You would also hear a lot less of “It’s impossible to…,” “I’m hopeless at…” or “I had no choice…”—all phrases which undermine our power and limit our future.
Psychologists have found that our subconscious mind interprets what it hears very literally. The words that come out of our mouths create the reality we inhabit. Unfortunately, it’s often a negative reality because we unconsciously sabotage our success simply by using language that undermines our opinions, amplifies our problems, and chips away at our confidence to handle them.
Whatever direction your words lead, your mind, body, and environment will inevitably follow.
If you use positive language about yourself and your ability to learn new skills, achieve your goals, and handle pressure, then that’s what tends to show up externally. Conversely, if you’re continually saying things that affirm incompetence, echo hopelessness, nurture anxiety, or fuel pessimism, then that will also shape your reality. Over time your world will morph to mirror your words.
Therefore, it’s extremely important to be thoughtful about the words you use and deliberate about speaking in ways that empower and expand rather than devalue and deflate.
The truth is that most people grossly underestimate the power they possess to effect positive change. This is echoed in the words they use to describe themselves and their circumstances. By painting themselves as helpless victims of forces beyond their control, devoid of the power and influence to improve their lot, they render themselves just that. It’s a vicious cycle as they gather increased evidence to confirm their powerlessness.
Tapping into your personal power starts with building self-awareness of where you are, using what psychologists call “out of power” language. To that end, below are five ways you can change how you speak to build your confidence, grow your influence, and improve your ability to get more of what you want and change what you don’t.
1. Speak possibilities into life.
For example:
· If you want more time, talk about the important things you will schedule into your day, week and year (not about how crazy busy you are).
· If you want more success, talk about your aspirations and what you can do to make them a reality (not about how big your problems are).
· If you want more power and influence, talk about what you’ll do with the influence you already have (not about how no one takes you seriously).
2. Don’t “try” to do something.
Committing with a confident can-do spirit shifts the energy you bring to a challenge and rallies people around you in ways that trying, wishing, and “hoping for the best” never will. Try it!
Saying “I’ll try” resonates with hesitation and ambivalence. Saying “I will” declares to yourself and anyone listening that you’re serious about changing the game and that what you most want is already a done deal. It’s just waiting to be completed.
3. Never say never.
Most of us have no idea about what is possible. Likewise, when we use absolute terms as descriptors, we fall into what’s known as a “linguistic trap”—confining ourselves to the walls our words create. Hence, words like always, never, and impossible can be very self-limiting and should be used cautiously.
Until next time,
Coach Nye
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