I ask this question to athletes when I first start working with them. Their typical answers have to do with time and nutrition, but they look at this all wrong, in my opinion. Here is what I feel that anyone, not just an athlete, needs to look at.
3 Things You Have to Give Up if You Want to Be Successful 1. Other People’s Definition of Success When I was in college, there was an unanimously agreed-upon definition of success. While it wasn’t explicitly stated, it was implied through people’s conversations, behaviors, and decisions. While this is one of the most difficult things to give up because it’s so deeply embedded in our cultural narrative, it’s also incredibly liberating and leads to the fullest expression of who you are and what matters to you. Other people aren’t going to live with the consequences of the choices you’ve made. So why would you live your life according to their values? By understanding the essence of our goals—what we believe our achievements will bring us—it’s easier to give up other people’s expectations. 2. Fear of Judgement For years, I’d have conversations with family, friends, and distant relatives about the work that I was doing. Whenever I was trying, I talked to one of them, they would say, “So, still coaching?” Trying to explain that there was far more to what I was doing felt like a lost cause. The fear of being judged keeps so many of us from taking a shot at our most ambitious dreams. At a certain point, I realized it wasn’t my job to convince the people that what I was doing was important, meaningful, and valuable. I had to give up the need to be validated by certain people. The people whose opinions I truly valued—when your ability to work changes drastically once you give up your fear of judgment and family and close friends—didn’t judge me. They supported me and could see a light at the end of the tunnel even when I couldn’t. Your ability to work changes drastically once you give up your fear of judgment. You become more present and productive and start to gather creative momentum. You focus on the process, not the prize, and you start to see progress toward the life you want to live. 3. Any Baggage Related to the Past We all have a past. It’s filled with beautiful and horrible experiences, such as bad coaches or teammates. At some point, you must give up whatever resentment you have toward people, circumstances, and experiences from your past. Otherwise, your future starts to look an awful lot like your past. When you give all that up, you ditch a lot of baggage. You walk through the world with a sense of lightness, peace, and freedom that makes its way into everything else you do.
Final Thought Giving things up isn’t about sacrifice. It’s also about gain. When you give things up, you open your life to other things. If you want to live life on your terms, you might have to give some things up in the short term. You sacrifice comfort and security in the present for a greater sense of possibility in the future. Ultimately, it’s up to you to define the meaning of success and what you’re willing to give up to have it—and figure out if the outcome will be worth it.
Until next time, #BeTheChange Coach Nye
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